Editing

- "If you think I am just a major procrastinator you are mistaken. I consider myself a misunderstood perfectionist, but truthfully I can never make decisions." -  Provided a interesting and creative way to viewing procrastination.
- In the "Mistaken Proctor" the writer does a great job of explaining. The writer explains the problem he/she had since he/she was little and how it continued throughout his/her life. It makes the essay flow.
- in "A Dreamer's Reflections on the Waking World" the writer describes EVERYTHING. The writing is very clear and i could imagine it like a movie in my head. Especially the part he saves the kid from falling.
- Very interesting on how the writer compares him in his dream with God. The writer played God in his own dream. This ends his essay very well. He states "we don't need to wait or hope for some powerful and benevolent creature to save us from the world.  That we only need ourselves."
- "Dont take it for granted" had great dialog. Added to the narrative because It put the reader in the situation.
- The example from her friend who had a drug problem provided a great argument to her narrative. It showed the true meaning of friendship and how strong their bonds were.




- I need to add a lot of detail in my dialog. In part where I am talking to Willie, I just simply end it the discussion.
- I need to make my reference points flow together. It seems like I just jump into a situation.
- Very vague. I didn't go into full explanation of points. I could have described how I felt, what it mean, why it happened?
-  I gave all my lessons away in an obvious way. I just told a story and explained what it meant.
- Main problem: DESCRIBE DESCRIBE DESCRIBE. Scene selection is good and little lessons in story are appropriate.

Topic Proposal

The perception of world peace, equality and unity is not unattainable because 1.) the economy would crumble 2.) the risks involved in leading a new world order (dystopia, communism) 3.) the differences in opinions cause arguments and problems

Lady Gaga

The article posted up on Angel argues that Lady Gaga is a bad representation of a sex icon. The author contrasts her to other sex icons like Madonna; She claims Gaga is not a icon, instead she is trying to copy Madonna. The article describes Gaga as being ugly and like an android; therefore, she could not be a sex icon. The use of compare and contrast in the article shows what a sex icon should be and how Lady Gaga does not meet those requirements.

Peer Review 3

The review for the narrative was helpful. I had trouble writing about my 3rd reference point but my peer reviewer gave me some good advice on how to improve it. She said the other 2 reference points were good because she could connect to it and understood what it meant to go to college. This complement was helpful because my audience was for first year college students and I was glad I could make a connection with them.

Dinner

For dinner yesterday I went to eat at In A Pickle. Standing In line, I could smell the various aromas coming from the spices. I ordered a hoagie on a fluffy white roll slightly smeared with mayo. I choose to add fresh roast beef and ham to the hoagie; I was hungry and had not eaten all day because I had been studying for an Econ test and trying to finish my English paper. For the toppings, I added shredded green lettuce, freshly cut tomatoes, and diced onions all over 4 thin slices of provolone cheese. For my drink, I choose Sobe strawberry dragonfruit. The drink was cold and tasted like a combination of strawberry and blueberry. With my first bite, I immediately tasted the the roast beef, ham and cheese. Then came the strong taste of mayo and onion which was balanced out by the tomatoes and lettuce.  The hoagie was filling; dinner was great.

Freewriting

Sorry was on vacation over the weekend with my family.

1.) When was the last time you can think of where you got really upset or really happy. Why? What was it over?
The last time I got really upset was when I seriously injured myself playing football. I went to the doctors and they told me that it was unlikely I would play the game again. The thought of never playing made me very upset. The good times I spent practicing and playing with some of my closest friends were taken away from me. Football teaches comradery; my friends and I were very close because of football. Not playing football made me think about the sport even more. At home, I would think of all the fun I had and what I could have done better to make the most out of the time I had left playing the sport.

2.) What do you spend the most time doing, what do you love doing most, or what things are most interested in? What do these mean to you? Why are you interested in them?

I love to hang out with my friends. For me, it is a time where the stress dealing with school, work, problems go away. With my group of friends, I always have a good time filled with laughs and memorable moments. We are all very different compared to each other, but we get along very well. For free time we play sports together, eat together, watch movies together, go to church together and most importantly have fun together. We make fun of each other for laughs, but nobody takes it seriously. We stand up for one another and we are truly like brothers.


3.) List experiences that you've had in the past, starting as young as possible. Don't worry if they were small or significant--most likely if you remember them then they were significant for you.

My first experience falling on rollerblades
Riding my bike without training wheels
Breaking my arm
Injuring my back
Going back to church
Getting shots
Playing sports

Narrative response

1.) The 3 essays I read differ from my writings. Throughout high school, most of my essays were about someone/something else. The topics seen in the three essays are personal and are about the writer. The essays go more in depth and share the writers perspective on a certain point in his/her life.

2.) The audience for the gaming addiction article is for gamers. The purpose of the article is that gaming addiction can ruin your life. In the article, the author provides examples to why he believe gaming addiction is bad. Ex.) He lost his job, girlfriend, social time with friends, money